KeithHandy.com

Epilogue: Republicans

On January 27th, I posted an Open Letter to Republicans, and I think the question still holds up.

Granted, the site only gets a dozen hits or day, mostly from people looking for images to steal — but I’m sure that post was seen by at least one or two republicans. I’m sure you had ample opportunity to give me at least one rational reason to take you seriously. I told you I was undecided. I told you I’m not a member of any political party. I told you I was truly open minded, and truly listening.

I’m sure if you never saw my post, you at least came across one or two other non-republicans with a similar question or plea, essentially, “please give me some kind of counterpoint to the ideals I’m being presented with from the democratic side, so that I can weigh it and think about it objectively”. I’m sure that with all the people in the world, this question has come up somewhere, and at least one of you out there somewhere could have answered it in some form.

Instead, all we got from you was a paper bag that you had taken a shit in and set to fire, saying, “here, you stupid liberal”.

Point made, if all you ever had in the first place was shit. “Obama hates whites. No, wait, he hates God. He hates the military and America and our freedom, and wants us to lose. He’s a terrorist. Er, sorry, a socialist. A Muslim? An Arab? My bad, he’s a baby killer. He’s launching a war on coal! Wait, what are we going with this week? Whatever he is, I ain’t paying taxes to him and he represents the downfall of this great country (in which I hate the majority of citizens, especially if they’re different than me, and am out riding a tank to defend them and ought to be appreciated for it, only I wouldn’t articulate it that well because I failed third-grade English)!” Small wonder we can barely remember your candidate’s name, as you haven’t actually found anything to say about him.

I understand the basic premise of conservatism: small government, low taxes. I’ve been through my Ayn Rand phase, and would be respectful of that position, if that’s what your position actually was. Unfortunately, you spew on and on about “pork” and “earmarks” while pouring billions into blowing up an area of the middle east that never threatened us. Unfortunately you don’t see the hypocrisy of worrying about welfare recipients collecting a few hundred bucks for supposedly being lazy and doing nothing, while CEOs, upper management, and shareholders collect millions for simply having a high and often un-earned position, or being lucky enough to have started the game with more chips on the table. (If you think most of those guys are “creating value”, you have a pretty rosy view of corporate America.) Then you accept bribes from those same big-wigs, to stifle technologies that would threaten jobs in obsolete 20th century industries… you mean a coal tycoon might have to take an entry level position in wind or solar? Gee, what was that you were saying earlier about “bootstraps”?

Look, republicans, I could have been a great mouthpiece for you. Many of my independent friends could have helped you too. See, ideas matter. Words matter. If you have anything worth saying, I encourage you to let me know. Tonight we saw that a positive campaign can win against a negative campaign. That you don’t have to be dirty. That you don’t have to dumb yourself down. That you don’t have to rouse people up to “boo” your opponent. That you can win by inspiring real hope in people, and focusing on what’s possible, not on what we should be “afraid” of.

I do, however, appreciate the flaming paper bag of shit you’ve provided us with over the past several months, in the form of YouTube comments, FOX news reports, and the Neanderthal-like, half-grunting, half-chanting sound you make at rallies. It’s a glowing reminder that it doesn’t always pay to be an asshole.