More on “the other F-word”
KeithHandy posted in Your Soul on June 15th, 2007
As little things come into my life and my mind that feel like positive or hopeful responses to the fairly dark emotions I had while writing my “fame” post, I’ll do these little updates. Hopefully they will be helpful to more people than just me.
1. I’m not having another “dark night of the soul”. Not that you could tell just from reading that I was actually worried about going there, but I already went through that in the early 90s, and the only thing I can experience now is occasional re-living of certain feelings. Flashbacks, you could call them.
2. What triggered this, besides all the obvious time on my hands, was re-watching the Brian Wilson SMiLE documentary, and then watching part of the Led Zeppelin DVD to snap myself out of the empathic descent into Brian’s mental instability. The reason his name didn’t come up among the others is that it’s impossible to feel envy for a life like his. There are probably similar reasons why I shouldn’t envy anyone else either.
3. Something that didn’t come up in my rant was my frustration that there has always appeared to be an invisible barrier between the people I normally interact with and the people who have had so much influence on the musical end of my life. The fact that my heroes are untouchable and unknowable beyond everything I’ve already taken from them on the CDs. This would seem in direct contradiction to my “they love people” statement, but I think what I mean is, for purely a reason of numbers, they do have to go to greater lengths than the average person to keep whatever parts of their lives they choose private. And also because of those numbers, as much as they “love” their fans (when they do), they can rarely form more than a one-dimensional concept of the individuals that form that cloud. Which kind of leaves you feeling one-dimensionalized.
4. Ask this question: without asking for specific feedback, in general, how would your heroes feel about your right to at least try to build on what they’ve done and take it to the next level? Some might feel very clingy to the status that they’ve attained for themselves, in which case, they’re immature and you should stop giving them the time of day. Others might be indifferent — they did it for the money, they got their money, you do what you want and good luck. Others still might actually hope that people like you are out there trying to do that, and would feel honored to know they not only achieved some name for themselves, but were actually able to contribute something even larger to the world by way of passing on the torch, regardless of how seemingly obscure your current role in the universe is. Even if you don’t know which of them fall into which category, doesn’t it make sense to assume that at least some of them fall into the third — and in those moments where you’re too discouraged to press on for yourself, press on for them?
A friend of mine just shared the “Who’s Next” edition of the Classic Albums series with me, and this comment from Pete Townshend struck a helpful-feeling note with me:
Won’t Get Fooled Again was not a defiant statement, it was a plea… it was a plea. Please don’t end this story, please don’t feel that because you’ve come to this concert, because you’ve come to this place that you’ve got an answer. Please don’t make me on the stage the new boss, ’cause I’m just the same as the guy who was up here before. You’re in charge.
(Several instances of “y’know” omitted.)
Kind of reminds me of Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
