Dark night of the wallet
KeithHandy posted in Funny ha-ha, Your Soul on May 24th, 2007
On behalf of anyone whose life path has ever taken a dramatic twist over one lousy (wonderful) little four-letter word, I would like to thank whoever had the good sense to sign, initial, key, click, or do whatever they had to do to finally approve my unemployment benefits. Oh, believe you me, a great weight has been lifted. (And if I had checked my bank account two days ago, I would have felt the relief that much sooner. Eh, what’s another 48 hours of nervous tension after the past three weeks. Actually, what makes it funny is that I actually physically went to the bank on 5/22 to deposit two small non-work-related checks — I wonder if those first two unemployment deposits reflected on the balance on my receipt, and I just didn’t bother to look at it.)
Although I’m presently too euphoric to even be functional, tomorrow I shall celebrate by foregoing my bread and tuna diet and eating at a freakin’ restaurant. I’ll even have dessert. And leave a nice tip. Hallelujah! Anyone in the area up for mexican?
Another thing I promised myself I would do once this was settled: I’m going to write a nice letter to the people I worked with and worked for. No, I’m not being sarcastic. I had some of the nicest coworkers, and an unbelievably tolerant, understanding, wise, and good-humored supervisor. There was love in that office. Unfortunately, some “important” people, who didn’t know us personally (but were sure to spam us with reminders about how exciting it was that one of them had a new title, or came up with a new acronym — don’t get me started on those!), wouldn’t get off our backs, and insisted on meddling with what should be an easy job and making it difficult for no reason.
One last thing: if you work in any call center, anywhere, and you hear rumors that your calls are going to be monitored by something called “Hyperquality“… run.
May 24th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Congratulations! I’m kinda jealous. Oh why do I have to be a Dirty Commie Canadian…
May 24th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Just think, you can never, ever, ever be president.
And you otherwise had such a good shot with the American voters.
May 25th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Right On, Keith! Glad to hear your weeks of nail-biting, penny-pinching & tuna sandwich rationing are over. When you’re living in LimboLand, every little bit of peace of mind counts.
I raise my Corona in your general direction. Salud, muchacho!
Somehow, the word Hyperquality doesn’t strike me as something Robert Pirsig would entirely approve of. It smacks of Manic Perfectionism. and who wants to follow THAT act?
May 25th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Lemme tell you something about Hyperquality.
One of their standards is “developing a rapport with the caller”.
If you use their last name twice or more during the call, you “developed a rapport with the caller”.
If you ask permission to call them by their first name, and use their first name twice, you “developed a rapport with the caller”.
However, if you use their first name once, and their last name once, even if you had permission to use the first name, you did NOT “develop a rapport with the caller”.
Here’s another standard: “showing willingness to assist the caller”.
If a person calls and says they made a payment online, and would like you to note their account, and you ask for their name or address in order to pull up the account BEFORE saying “I can assist you with that”, then you did not “show willingness to assist the caller”.
I swear, it’s been over a month — I should be over these post-traumatic flashbacks by now.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Yikes (with a capital…’Yikes’).
See, Keith? it’s systems like these that are driving humanity to an accelerated extinction. well. maybe not doing the driving, exactly…but they’re certainly helping to hand out the roadmaps on how best to get there the quickest route without having to deal with too many detours or delays due to construction and toll boothes.
so instead of allowing this to get me down i….shall instead raise my bottle of Corona (no, not the same one. it’s a completely different one now) in your general direction and drink to your (Un?)Reasonable Fascimile Of Freedom, muchacho.
Shine On however you see fit, brother. :)